Carmike 15 Cinemas
To watch the cinema on the cheap, itâs recommended going âdutch,â as paying for two could drain your checking account. Stop at the nearby gas station for snacks and drinks, then sneak them in under your coat. Now hiring exchange students, emo lifestyle required.
Apple Valley still loves its apples, but today mostly illegal immigrants do the picking. In terms of industry, there's little that distinguishes Apple Valley from any other major city in America, save for size. The City of Apple Valley (http://www.ci.apple-valle...) and Wal-Mart are among the biggest employers, with stables of check-out people and stockpersons. TJ's Escort Service moved its headquarters to Apple Valley amid much fanfare a few years ago. There's always construction work in Apple Valley, but with a strong union presence, it's not easy for a newcomer to break into without an introduction.
For younger and teen-aged workers, the retail outlets and fast-food establishments in the area are always looking for low-paid, high-enthusiasm employees who have no direction in life. Fireworks merchants and Carney folk also need seasonal help. Also, with so many schools and punks, the city could use a stronger police presence.
Several minor community colleges call Apple Valley home. Dakota County Technical College is undoubtedly the most prestigious among them. DCTC’s campus is known as the "home to more Nobel Prizes per square kilometer than any other mid-size community college in the city." To the north, the St. Mary’s University maintains a campus center just outside the downtown area.
In the central district is Apple Valley High School (http://www.district196.or...), which traces its roots back to the town’s founding, sometime after 1776. AVHS has a celebrated history of scholastic and athletic dominance. The school made national news for housing an illegal immigrant for several months, (http://www.startribune.co...). On game days, alumni bleed the brown and gold. Unfortunately, game days will be discontinued in 2010 due to budget cuts.
A handful of schools in Apple Valley attract students in the creative arts. The School of Environmental Studies (http://www.district196.or...) has an enviable location inside the Minnesota Zoo grounds, and its programs in tie-dye art and staying-inside-the-lines are continually noted as some of the most prestigious in the nation.
To the east of downtown, built over the remains of several pet cemeteries, is the brutalist campus of Eastview High School (http://www.district196.or...). It is the second-most popular high school in the city. Originally planned to alleviate overcrowding in nearby Apple Valley High School, Eastview became a taxpayer boondoggle. A large outdoor cinema screen and several trophy cases most of which have never been used were installed at the city’s expense. Most locals know, and travelers should take note that wearing the Eastview black and blue in public will often solicit cat calls and thrown garbage.
Pahl's Market
Pahlâs, Apple Valleyâs longstanding farmerâs market and greenhouse, has been around since the early 1900âs. All organic, all home grown. Green thumbs are advised to keep it in their pants.
Arts and culture
Apple Valley Community Center
The Community Center, or AVCC, is home to many adult and youth recreational athletic leagues. A great location for your next basketball or volleyball tournament, organization meeting, gang fight, or family banquet. There are four full-size, slippery-as-ice basketball courts. Bring a cold press and crutches. The community center also provides adult education opportunities at no cost. Programs range from Lawn Care 1-2-3 to Lawn Care Made Easy: Your Grass - How Green is Green?
Dakota County Galaxie Library
Enjoy the cool air-conditioned, vagrant free environment while perusing the classics. Dakota County boasts the largest neo-futuristic slam poetry selection by Benjamin "Beets" Yarbrough. The elegantly decorated rainbow room near the children's section is quiet and private - ideal for playing solitaire.
Sports
Andyâs Market Hill
Looking for some winter fun and the exciting prospect of being paralyzed from the face down? Look no further than the epic sledding hill behind the beloved Andy's Market. Be warned: although impressive to younger women, do not stand up on your sled, as you run the risk of a terrible whitewash. Afterwards, why not enjoy a hot cup of java from the perennially changing coffee shop attached to this hallmark stopover.
Valleywood Golf Course
Widely recognized as one of the premier public golf courses in the Twin Cities area. 18 holes, par 71, elite driving range, practice green, quality pro shop, bar and grill food & beverage cart and club rental. Twilight golfing begins at 7PM for thrifty hackers.
Broomball
Broomball may have originated in Canada, but itâs epicenter seems to be located on the frozen ponds of Apple Valley and the surrounding small towns. Several indoor rinks provide a warmer, more hospitable environment, but for those that want a true experience, head outside and wait your turn on the boards. The nationâs governing body and sponsored team, USA Broomball, recruits several of its members from this hotbed of brooming. A local legend and national star mentors players in the area high school leagues. If time permits, itâs highly recommended by past spectators that you catch one of these games â emotions are high and, usually, so are the players. Broomball is really a game that can be enjoyed by all. Many stores sell used equipment â shoes, brooms, pads, helmets, and for the more timid players, nutcups. These purchases are a small price to pay for what can be a great experience and a chance to immerse oneself in the city.
In a pickle
Itâs not quite tennis and itâs not quite badminton, and curiously, there are no pickles involved â unless you include the post-game snack. Pickleball, named after the founderâs border collie, is a growing sport developed in the Apple Valley area. Usually played outdoors on a modified tennis court, pickleballers volley the orb-shaped pickle back and forth over a low net. The key is to maintain court awareness and positioning while readying oneself for a violent pickle-smash from the opposing side. Although the average age of much of the cityâs picklers is well over 65, it is slowly gaining popularity with the 50+ crowd. If you find yourself challenged to a pickling match, hereâs a helpful list of pickleball terms you should know:Pickle in the middle â an extended rally between two evenly matched picklers Spear â a point-winning smash Mr./Ms. Vlasic â a player adept in the ways of pickling or a difficult opponent Tommy Pickles â a pickleball rookie Peter Piper â a heckler bent on ruining the match
Beaches
Crystal Lake Beach
Show off your new pair of board shorts or that rockinâ henna tramp stamp. If you want to see and be seen, this is where you need to be. Join a beach volleyball tournament bring socks, though, the sand is hot, toss the Friz, or just keep your shades down and get your creep on; this beach is your oyster, shuck it. Completely nude sun bathing is also accepted but for the most part is limited to certain sections.
Schulze Lake Beach
Schulze Lake is home to the cityâs most beautiful sunsets. The beach is usually peopled with outdoor enthusiasts looking for some respite from the trails. A tattoo stand is open between noon and dusk.
Apple Valley is not well known as a beach destination, but Crystal Lake is the seventh-largest freshwater lake located entirely within Dakota County, and beautiful people flock to it. Anyone can show up and swim â virtually none of Apple Valleyâs lakefront is spoiled by "private" beaches. And despite the latitude, the water is quite warm in the late summer and early fall. With algae and lake weeds nary a problem, the lakes of Apple Valley provide fun and relaxation for any type of traveler. Lifeguards posted at popular swimming locales attentively scan the shores for danger, including beachwear fashion faux pas â so check the mirror before you get some sun.
The sun isnât the only draw, though. Summertime travelers can enjoy a plethora of water activities, ranging from the most mundane and pleasureful pontoon boat afternoons to a heart-stopping ride aboard rental jet skis. Younger beachgoers can choose tubing on the choppy waves or building their own Neuschwanstein on shore. A little tired of having fun in the sun? Take a time-out and cast a line in one of seemingly endless watering holes. Popular species of fish include bass, sunny, marlin, dogfish and trout.
If youâre lucky enough to visit during the winter months of November through March, thereâs a good chance youâll be able to experience the rush of adrenaline known as ice fishing. Developed in Scandinavia to pass time in the long winter, ice fishing is a uniquely northern take on its more well-known cousin, standard liquid water fishing. So grab your auger and rental icehouse and head out on to the lake! Although ice depths are important to monitor and could mean the difference between life and death, normally any sense of safety is ignored for the sake of âcatching the big one.â Hardcore anglers recommend pulling your icehouse onto the ice with the heaviest truck available at the rental lot. This will convey to others the size of your fishing appetite. Ice shacks are also referred to as shanties, lakebobs, huts or nuthouses. Make sure to pack playing cards, board games, a portable television set, snacks and cyanide.
Keller Lake Beach
Far removed from the drunken bikini scene at Crystal Beach, Keller Lake provides laid back travelers a few mediocre fishing spots and some small bike trails. The horseshoe pits are well-manicured and chances are youâll have them all to yourselves. A beautiful pergola provides picnic-goers a taste of the privileged life.
Parks and aqua centers
Lebanon Hills Regional Park
Great stopover for hikers, campers, bikers, anglers and nature buffs. Lebanon Hills has plenty to offer for all sorts of travelers - RV parks, campgrounds and rustic lodges for large groups. Reenact your own Burning Man with pre-split firewood, available at the Camp Sacajawea Retreat Center for $7 a bundle â two should get you through the night, four, a citation for arson. Adults and parents can relax by the custom-made fire pits while younger travelers might want to give the ropes and challenge courses a shot. Winter weather provides excellent Nordic cross-country ski and snowshoe trails, while summer allows for kayaking, canoeing and rafting in the many streams and lakes. The city has built several picnic shelters and gazebos along the white, sandy beaches. Lebanon Hills is really a hidden gem on the cityâs fringe. Beware of wild black bears.
Redwood Park and Pool
Relive your childhood memories at the pool à la "The Sandlot."
Where there are trees and grass, there are usually parks, and where there are parks, there are people enjoying them. During the summer months, the city parks are a destination for organized and impromptu athletic contests, chess matches, and plenty more. There are also tennis courts in most public spaces and ice rinks for use in the winter. The city sponsors many music festivals throughout the year, and Kelley Park is a fun destination for all ages, especially in the summer, and particularly for those under two years. Outdoor skating and skateboarding are popular with tweens and middle-aged men can warm up for the Pro-Am at countless nearby golf courses.
Alimagnet Lake and Park
Great for Frisbee golf and purchasing small quantities of marijuana. The adult softball leagues here are popular with young alcoholics.
Johnny Cake Park and Aquatic Center
Johnny Cake is one of the state's premier softball and soccer football complexes. Across the street, the Aquatic Center provides hours of relief to parents who want to abandon their kids for a day or two.